This morning, my little toddler was crying because he wanted to take his sister’s medicine and I said he can’t.

This is happening for few days now and I think we got in this phase when he will need some answers regarding to sister’s condition. It is really hard to explain that to 2y old child when grownups can’t understand either, but I will try.

For now he only remembers her as sister who doesn’t walk or talk or can feed herself, dress herself and she needs mommy for everything. He isn’t aware that she doesn’t see either, but I can understand that it is hard to process in his age.

He was always so supportive in his own little way. When Gabi started to lose ability to swallow, he would always started to cheering while she was eating and drinking; “swallow Gabi, you can do it! Come on Gabi, drink, go sis”. Or when I would trying to walk with her, he would walk in front of us, imitating ataxia and “showing” his sister how she can walk by herself. When they are in playground, he doesn’t let anyone come near her or touch toys with which she is playing with. He is very protective and supportive and he is only 2 years old.

This things are maybe heartbreaking but they are beautiful in some way and I am happy that they have each other.

My worst nightmare is how it will affect him after Gabi dies. It is something I can’t even think of because it is to hard and I can’t prepare him for that either. I know that is wrong, but it is hard to live day by day and then preparing that we will lose her. I know that as a pact in some part of my mind but I can’t really feel that because it still seems so impossible.

They have bond that is so strong that will survive even death and I am so happy to have them both, no matter how hard it can be. Soon they will have another sister and I believe that is the most precious gift I could give them.