This morning, my little toddler was crying because he wanted to take his sister’s medicine and I said he can’t.

This is happening for few days now and I think we got in this phase when he will need some answers regarding to sister’s condition. It is really hard to explain that to 2y old child when grownups can’t understand either, but I will try.

For now he only remembers her as sister who doesn’t walk or talk or can feed herself, dress herself and she needs mommy for everything. He isn’t aware that she doesn’t see either, but I can understand that it is hard to process in his age.

He was always so supportive in his own little way. When Gabi started to lose ability to swallow, he would always started to cheering while she was eating and drinking; “swallow Gabi, you can do it! Come on Gabi, drink, go sis”. Or when I would trying to walk with her, he would walk in front of us, imitating ataxia and “showing” his sister how she can walk by herself. When they are in playground, he doesn’t let anyone come near her or touch toys with which she is playing with. He is very protective and supportive and he is only 2 years old.

This things are maybe heartbreaking but they are beautiful in some way and I am happy that they have each other.

My worst nightmare is how it will affect him after Gabi dies. It is something I can’t even think of because it is to hard and I can’t prepare him for that either. I know that is wrong, but it is hard to live day by day and then preparing that we will lose her. I know that as a pact in some part of my mind but I can’t really feel that because it still seems so impossible.

They have bond that is so strong that will survive even death and I am so happy to have them both, no matter how hard it can be. Soon they will have another sister and I believe that is the most precious gift I could give them. 


Living with toddler

What’s the hardest thing in women’s life? Raising a toddler.

Every day is new surprise. And by the surprise I don’t mean tantrums, behavioral stuff, stubbornness or that “normal” things. I mean ideas. Every day, there is a bunch of new ideas in theirs head.

“Hey, why don’t I throw my sneakers through window? I could definitely drink water from the toilet, it looks really nice. Oh look, mom is putting a make on, I should make our house beautiful by putting it on the wall. This old lady has a nice dog, I wonder what happens if I put my finger in the dog’s eye? ”

And so on… their brain is working constantly and making ideas what to do next and you just have to deal with that as you know. Maybe you scream, maybe you cry, maybe you curse your hubby for making you pregnant at first place, but that’s not helping.

Today at the breakfast, while I was feeding my daughter, my little toddler decided that the better use of yogurt is body painting then food. Of course he knew that mommy wouldn’t approve that so he would put an angel face and spoon in his mouth every time I’ve looked. So, story short, instead of just making breakfast, I had cleaning the house at 8 am, bathing my son and being exhausted before the day began. And that is just beginning. Until noon he had plenty of new ideas and this is going on every single day.


Instead of going crazy, I always try to find positive side in everything, so I had to think hard before I could find any, and there it was.

Raising a toddler you will gain great skills. You will be best negotiator, you could deal with any crisis so you could become crisis management any time. You will become best salesman and you will definitely know that customer is always right. You can work in any stressful environment and keep up with every deadline because you know what means when your boss tells you “now” . You won’t complain on your colleagues or your boss because you have been through worst. Multitasking is something you do while sleeping. And so on. See? Raising the toddler really benefits you and if you raise more than one, you are definitely an expert.

When I am in a good mood I can definitely see positive side in everything, so for those other days, my advice is to keep going because we all know that it will pass one day and your little toddler would grow up and become normal child 🙂